INSOMNIA POST ADDICTION

Shouldn’t a toxin-free body rest like sleeping beauty? Yeah, you would think…but it’s actually a common symptom to experience after substance withdrawal.

Unfortunately, I experienced insomnia for an entire year post addiction before being able to enjoy a more restorative sleep. I was an alcoholic turned coke addict, until I transformed into an Adderall fiend who finally got clean. This process took a good 10 years and my body experienced some turbulence along the way. I didn’t know what to expect, but having sleeping issues didn’t make sense to me, why was I being punished for being sober?! When I was on uppers, I slept through. What the heck.

The issue was a constant state of anxiety; my mind was always racing. Weekends were easier, but I dreaded workdays. I had to wake up for work at 5:30AM Monday-Friday. I would attempt to go to bed at 8:30PM and it would take me hours to finally fall asleep, just to soon wake up an hour later and stay up. It’s something I had to learn to accept because I was pretty much just stuck there all night, thinking about how it sucked. I tried multiple strategies until I was able to find what works with me and I wanted to share my trial and error.

My initial plan was and always will be to stay as toxin-free as possible in regards to any health concern. Since our body creates melatonin to fall asleep, I decided to try 10mg of the melatonin supplement, but it plain didn’t work. I even tried taking two doses, which I highly do not recommend because it still didn’t work and made me dopey and lethargic. Another natural remedy I thought may cure was drinking chamomile tea right before bedtime, but that also did nothing and even worse, made me constantly get up and go pee.

Next up, sleeping pills from Dollar Tree. I knew how potent sleeping pills are, so I would take half the recommended dose. Now, this worked for a few weeks or so, but not successfully because I still felt exhausted. Sleeping pills do not allow our bodies to go into a deep restorative REM sleep, which is what we need to actually recharge and feel refreshed for the next day. Shortly after I began, I reduced my intake to a quarter of the recommended dosage, which was half a pill. I was getting better sleep, but I knew my body hated me for it and so I eventually weened off of these pills by taking half a pill only a couple times a week until I completely stopped.

After the sleeping pills, I didn’t really know what to do, so I started to rely on my anxiety medication to make me drowsy. I was diagnosed with anxiety at age 19 and tried different medications until I was prescribed Klonopin about 6 years ago, which has worked the best for me. I use it strictly for panic attacks, which I suffer mostly before bedtime. For one month, I began taking the recommended dose every night to help me sleep, regardless if I had an attack or not. Again, this was a short-term bandage for the issue. I have a 30 day monthly script, so technically I was not abusing this medication, but it was wearing on my conscious and I didn’t want to fall back into a dependency loop. I quickly weened off of Klonopin and now only use when I can’t calm myself down. #thankyouanxiety

What worked

Understanding the effects of caffeine on sleep, I decided that it would be beneficial to quit. Caffeine actually gave me the worst anxiety for years and years, but I would still drink it. What a doozy! Please don’t ask me why I couldn’t quit *cough, cough addiction*, all I know is that quitting caffeine was the catalyst in a series of other actions I took to get those zzz’s. You may actually have the opposite reaction and won’t be able to sleep if what you are quitting is caffeine, because…withdrawal. But for me, quitting helped right away. Very rarely will I experience panic attacks during the day, since cutting out caffeine. It’s great!

Journal. Reflecting on the day and getting all that gunk out of your head and onto some paper will release the heaviness you carry with you. I have made it a nightly ritual to reflect on the good, the bad and the annoying. Most of us keep our emotions bottled in and don’t have anyone to talk to about the petty stuff and I believe these things need to have some form of release before obtaining a clearish state of mind.

Wow, just wow on this next one. Meditation before bed is hands down the best thing you can do to get into REM mode fast. I am not some guru meditator, I only recently started in March 2020, when the lockdown began. You do not need to be good at meditating for it to help you get to sleep. I recommend lying on your back in bed and playing some 639hz music (the love frequency) or whatever frequency you like, and then start to consciously breathe deeply. Try to think about how grateful you are. If pesky thoughts pop up, which they always do, just redirect your focus on your breathing again. It gets easier the more you practice.

If I finish meditating and that hasn’t done the trick, I use my backup device; mantras. A mantra is a statement that you repeat frequently. For me, the cause of my sleepless nights were anxiety and fear, but mantras keep me at peace to get my mind off of the fear of the unknown. Hands down, the one I use the most is “I am safe.” Repeating this over and over prevents unwanted scary thoughts from popping in and reminds me I have nothing to worry about because, I am safe!

In addition, If what I am thinking about is a person or situation that has caused me to be resentful (it happens), I will repeat the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono prayer:

“I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.”

Prayer in general is a great way to transform your brainwaves into a more relaxed frequency. Anything to get your mind off of why you can’t sleep is a plus :)

Insomnia was no fun, but eventually I took into consideration what I put in my body and how it affected me, to fully combat the sleep enemy. If you experience insomnia after recovering from addiction, it is completely normal and with time and effort gets better. Check out some my additional tips below to get some rest:

• Read

• Sleep with a fan or humidifier to generate noise; silence can be scary

• Play binaural beats 432hz sleep frequency while you sleep

• Take your vitamins in the AM incase they boost your energy levels (B12)

• Don’t go to bed hungry

• Be conscious of any medications you use and their effects on quality of sleep

Please note: I am not a medical professional and this information is not to be used in place of medical advice. Always consult your doctor before making any changes in regards to your health.